Live: Ed, Kris and Mallory

Before we had Mallory I attended a 3 hour class offered at our hospital for expecting fathers. It was a session meant to allow dads to learn things specific to new fathers and also offer an opportunity for guys to ask an instructor and a couple of "veteran dads" questions. They were in a pinch for volunteers so I went in as a "veteran" dad and brought our peanut along. She did fairly well and I gave some other guys an opportunity to feed, change and practice calming a baby. They asked if I was interested in facilitating the class and I gave them my info so I might end up teaching it.

Anyway here are some of the key things I told the expecting dads:

1. Work as a team - This probably made things go as smooth as they did for us. Kris and I communicated a lot prior to and during the birth of Mallory. We talked about making a birth plan or at least knowing the answers to questions that we wouldn't be able to answer on the spot. We worked many of the details from the epidural to breastfeeding to Mallory being with us and not in the nursery. It's absolutely critical you work as a team or the rest of my advise is useless.

2. Be flexible - We had peanut early. The labor was long and a bit bumpy so I had to be flexible and go with the flow. Kris had a lot of difficulties with breastfeeding and again things don't always go as planned.

2. Be supportive of mom - This is a new experience and it's extremely exhausting for both but especially the new mom. Things will go smoother if you're very supportive and even if you have no clue what the hell you're doing, mom will appreciate the extra display of confidence if she needs some reassurance that things are going ok. I had no clue what was going on during labor but I'll be damned if I said "I don't know" or "I hope things will be ok" when Kris asked if things were going well. I smiled and said "Yep, things are a little bumpy but everyone has everything under control right now."

3. Be the operator - Make sure you take down names and numbers of people you'll need to contact. Assuming everything is going ok with mom, take a break every couple of hours to let family know how she is doing if they're in the waiting room. If there are issues with family members getting upset about not being able to see your wife while she's in labor, let the nurses be the bad guys.

4. You dictate how things will be - No you don't call the shots with everything but you do get the dictate how involved you will be in your new baby's life. If you show an interest and you read a bit on general baby care, you'll be much more prepared and thus more comfortable with soothing a crying baby or bathing them. Don't let yourself get pushed aside by your mother in law or anyone else if you want to be involved, this is *your* child.

These are the major things. I'll post a follow up for the small things that worked for us from ways to do things to products that did or didn't work. Hopefully this will be of use to expecting parents.

Posted by at 12:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

A mother's love
Originally uploaded by beamz.
Today Mallory had her first day at Learning Time which is a daycare or we like to think of it as a school. Now I won't pretend to even understand the bond between a mother and her child but I will tell you it's probably stronger than anything you'll ever come across in life.

Kris thought she wouldn't have a hard time but as soon as we set our dear daughter down the tears started flowing. Now I like many of you absolutely hate to see someone I love cry so of course I start to get snippy when Mallory starts waking and crying because I wanted to hurry out of there. I knew this was going to be one of the hardest times ever for Kris.

Let me explain. When you decide to put your child's care in someone elses hands everyday it is a serious commitment. No, I'm not talking about marriage, I'm talking about giving up part of their life so you can take another fork down the road. Millions of parents do it and their children do great but that doesn't make it any easier. She said, "I felt like I left a part of me today." You question the hell out of yourself every minute wondering if you're abandoning the child, if they'll miss you, if they'll still love you. Sure these thoughts seem ridiculous but like I said, that bond is like nothing else and your mind spins when you apply some stress.

My take as a dad is that if you asked your kid if they would rather go play with their friends or stay at home they would probably choose their friends. It's not that they don't love you but I tell you the sight of a bright red truck or one of the hundreds of other toys with the added bonus of hanging out with my cool friends always won over being at home. She'll get some decent social interaction and she'll learn from other kids who are talking and walking which will hopefully encourage some serious growth. This is all at the expense of mom seeing those smiles and watching that growth minute by minute. Honestly though sometimes it can be very monotonous but again that doesn't make it any easier. I'm not knocking stay-at-home parents one bit because there are some added benefits to staying home and it's not easy work.

Ok so I'm pretending I know a little bit about that bond but that's because I'm sitting smack dab in the middle of flying shards of glass which make up the delicate bond between a mother and her child. I'll tell you what though, you appreciate the time you have with her and the most exciting part of your day is when you leave work to go see your bright-eyed glowing little bundle of sweetness (or that's what you choose to remember).

What's your take?

Posted by at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

This is how I rock.
Originally uploaded by beamz.
We have now brought some serious sonic fidelity to Mallory's world with some JBL On Tour iPod speakers. She has been jamming to 50 Cent's "Hate It or Love It"

I took the bullets outta fitty and put em in my four five...
Go 'head envy me I'm raps MVP
And I ain't goin' nowhere so you can get to know me.

She's also listening to the Baby Einstein music cd boxed set from Costco which it appears isn't sold anywhere else. I'm going to order some industrial velcro so I can strap the speakers to her stroller, swing and crib.

In other news, she is coming down with more symptoms of the cold I had. I should've isolated myself but you do what you can to help and all the handwashing didn't make a difference. Next time I think I'll get a mask so I'm not breathing on her. We cleaned her nose out with the bulb syringe and some saline solution and she's breathing much better. She said, "Thanks dada for getting those big boogers out!"

Posted by at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In one month the girl has grown quite a bit. She gained 2 pounds 6 ounces and 1 3/4 inches. She's put on over an ounce a day. She used to fit on the sleeping wedge I bought her but now its smaller than she is. I think she was tricking us in the beginning because now it's more difficult than ever to put her down and keep her sleeping.

The doctor confirmed that she had reflux but the dosage of medicine she is on is correct for her age. Right now even though we put her down around 9pm she wakes up crying after about 30-45 minutes and needs to be rocked again for another half hour. It's a bit.... challenging. Right now I'm eyeing the baby monitor as I post this and watch the meter pass the one light that signifies background noise and goes into 2-3. It's a feeling of dread and realizing there isn't much time for updating the blog, cleaning the house or feeding the cat. I think we'd be better off if we just cancelled Netflix, DirecTV, all or our magazine subscriptions and everything else because we're always tuned to MalloryTV(TM). It makes you flop between wanting to be that unrelentlessly giving parent who practices "The No Cry Sleep Solution" to the one who wants to try the "Cry-It-Out" method of getting them to sleep. Of course she's 2 months old and doesn't know how to manipulate so at this point the best thing we can do is try to give the kid some consistency. We were putting her down anywhere from 9pm to 12pm and well that's not too bright. Of course we did seem to sleep longer. We tried the "cry-it-out" method one night and Kris ended up getting 2 hours of sleep bless her soul.

Again, it's not that bad it could be worse. The lights on the baby monitor are hitting 2-3 again so I should get going. Let us know what worked for you, we're interested in hearing. If you have any trouble commenting go ahead and shoot us an email to saipetch at twentybelow dot com.

Update: Check out the new pictures we posted on flickr -- Kris

Posted by at 3:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Passed Out

Originally uploaded by DaDa.

What's up... Mallory here. I went out with my rents and partied. Dad wasn't feeling well, he keeps coughing and blowing snot everywhere. He played poker with some guys and I got to hang out with the girls and this cute boy named Jack who is a couple of weeks older than me.

We weren't planning on staying long but I passed out and the folks were having fun finally getting out of the house. They carried me home cuz I couldn't walk. Oh and I got to wear this kick ass white bunting that made me look like Casper the friendly ghost.

Anyway keep it real. Happy New Year.

- Mallory

Posted by at 10:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)